I consider myself a really honest person.Too honest sometimes. As much as people say they would prefer to hear the truth, I don’t think they do.
However small all little white lies are, I often feel I have no choice but to use them otherwise all hell would break loose. For me, relatives and “friends” who have known you the longest are the biggest culprits.
An example which has happened to me just today; for the longest time I’ve heard my friend complain that nobody invites her to dinner dates or lazy lunches on a weekend, so a few weeks back an opportunity arose where I had a free house as my husband was away for work, so I invited her over for Sunday lunch and cocktails. She was super excited to have a casual yet fun invitation and she immediately said yes. That we would confirm it all nearer the time.
I didn’t hear anything back, so I called to confirm. She had forgotten about the date and also cancelled because her parents needed her help. She kept apologising for messing me about. Fair enough, I figured, this isn’t new with her, I wasn’t very surprised but oh well.
Upon telling my husband, his feelings towards the episode and to her, were: “well, she can’t ever say you don’t ever invite her to things, because you always do and there is always some excuse. I wouldn’t bother anymore because you only get disappointed”
3 days later, I get a text from said friend, she asked if I wanted to meet up that afternoon in town – she was bored and just wanted to get out.
I really wasn’t in the mood to be social or out in public that day, and to be honest I was having a well earned duvet day. I really didn’t want to go, I just didn’t feel like it. Some people would have been able to handle a response like “I’m just not in the mood today” but not this girl, so I had to make up a lie.
In the past I have been truthful and she was bitchy and twisted my response so I’ve learnt now – she is one of those who can’t accept truth, but expects others to accept hers.
The little white lie I told wasn’t even a lie at all, more of an excuse. But the point is that I shouldn’t need to use one.
I was doing chores but not nearly as much as I had said and I could have easily stopped doing them, but ya know what, I felt like it was a sympathy invite because of her cancelling. Which is fine I guess, well no it actually isn’t fine… but it doesn’t deter from the fact that our meet-ups are only done when it suits her.
I find it really odd that people who have known me less (newer acquaintances/work colleagues) accept pure honesty from me and respect my responses and general comments.
it is very frustrating that we have to use little white lies but I don’t know what I’d do without them sometimes.